Top Ten Films of 2012

And for the last blog of 2012, I give you the best films of 2011. What a wonderful year to be a movie lover; there really were a lot of great works created last year.

Honorable Mentions: The Master, Five Year Engagement, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Searching for Sugar Man.

10. Looper
9. Life of Pi
8. Argo
7. Lincoln
6. Zero Dark Thirty
5. Amour
4. Moonrise Kingdom
3. The Dark Knight Rises
2. Silver Lining Playbook
1. Beasts of the Southern Wild

Cashback (2006)

What if you could freeze time? That would be pretty cool. Here’s a movie about an art student who learns how to do just that. Meanwhile he tries to get over the girl friend that broke up with him and deal with insomnia. Along the way he becomes interested in a co-worker, a beautiful and charming cashier. Simple, enjoyable and just the kind of film any director would love to say was their first. Grade: A-

Frozen (2013)

There are so many aspects to this Disney film to celebrate. It’s first and foremost a very entertaining fable with fun, catchy tunes (with wonderful lyrics). It’s also not the love story we’ve seen done to death, over and over again, with these kinds of Disney fairy tale films. This one is about the love between two sisters and two very independent, strong-willed women many girls can look up to.  This is on par with Tangled (the last fairy tale film Disney did) and proof John Lasseter is doing something right over there at the Mouse House.  I suspect this loose adaptatin of Hans Christian Andersen's story, The Snow Queen, will win a lot of fans (and awards). Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel lend their voices to the main characters and both perform fantastically. As with Hans Christian Andersen’s other story Disney butchered, I’m okay with the liberties they took because it can connect more with today's audience.   love what Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck did here and I’m excited to see what other films they make with Disney. Grade: A

American Hustle (2013)

David O. Russell is having a bit of a renaissance here. After The Fighter and Silver Lining’s Playbook comes another entertaining film with an all-star cast of Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence and Jeremy Renner. It’s the story of a con artist couple being used by an FBI agent to use their talents to indict crooked politicians during the ‘70s. And it’s inspired by real events. All of this is intriguing enough but add Russell’s brilliant use of character development over plot to make this an even better film than it probably deserves to be. This one has great tension, many laughs and classic interactions from very memorable characters. My only complaint (and it’s a minor one) is that it’s pacing isn’t as smooth flowing as his other films, but I still greatly enjoyed this zinger. Grade: A-

Top Ten Christmas Films To-Be, Maybe (Commentary)

For my annual Christmas Top Ten List I had trouble deciding what to do. I’ve already done the best movies and so forth, what else is there? So below are 10 Christmas films that I’d love to see get made. They’re not necessarily good ideas, but I’d love to see them anyway. What do you think? Anyone crazy enough to attempt one of these concepts?

A Christmas Paradox
Here’s a twist on Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol, using Time travel instead of mystical ghosts. Ebenezer Scrooge’s nephew Fred is the main character, a scientist who decides to go back in time to change the moment when Ebenezer started hating Christmas. Except when he returns to the present, assuming the holidays would be better he finds that Bob Cratchit is now the humbug miser and Scrooge is just as unhappy as before as Bob’s clerk. Now he must fix the mess he made by going back and ruining Ebenezer’s past to save everyone else’s Christmas.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Animated)
I really love what Sony did with Horton Hears a Who and I’d love to see them update Dr. Seuss’ classic holiday story. I know there’s the Ron Howard/ Jim Carrey version (which I actually don’t mind that much) but with animation there is so much more they could do.

Christmas Road Trip Movie
Think a mix between Vacation and Plains, Trains and Automobiles. A family travels across country to celebrate the holidays with the father’s large family. Comedy ensues.

Modern Nativity Story
Take the Nativity Story and have it happen in our time. Mary and Joseph are poor, homeless emigrants who find shelter in a hotel’s back utility closet. Every part of the story could be modernized for effect and it might end up being really moving. Just don’t make it a preachy film.

Christmas 3000
In the distant future we have lost the meaning of Christmas. In fact no one even celebrates it anymore. So a team of Christian scientists collect Jesus’ DNA and clone him so he can bring back the holidays. Except Jesus ends up making things even worse and it’s only our hero, a jolly fat atheist named Nicholas who saves the world from Jesus by bringing back fun and merriment to the end of the year. Or, now that I think of it, call the film Jesus vs. Santa. This black comedy concept would get some wonderful heated hate letters.

The Making of Rudolph
A behind the scenes film about the making of the classic Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer animated film from 1964. There’s got to be something cool about the making of that made-for-TV film.

Christmas in Paradise
I’ve never seen a Christmas film set on a tropical setting. Maybe newly-weds who go to the relatives who live in the Caribbean. The wife grew up there so it’s nothing new but the husband is used to a wintery Christmas and goes crazy.

Evil Elves
What if Santa’s elves became possessed and turned into evil, vampire like trolls intent on eating children? It would be like a zombie Christmas movie with lots of scares. Okay, maybe they should just call this one Gremlins.

A Pixar Christmas
I don’t care what the concept is or who is in it but I’d love to see Pixar make a holiday-themed film. I know it would be an instant classic.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (Remake)
There’s no doubt that this 1964 bomb is one of the worse Christmas movies made, which is why we need to remake it. It can either be made as a wacky parody that aims for laughs or a science fiction comedy that’s full of action. I don’t care which direction they go, I just want to see a special effect extravaganza where Santa Claus battles aliens trying to ruin the holidays. 

A Christmas Carol (2009)

When I heard Robert Zemeckis (one of my favorite directors) was making another film adaptation of Dicken’s famous holiday ghost story, I groaned. Then I heard Jim Carrey was going to star in the film and play multiple characters. I still groaned. I love both guys but why this story. It’s been done so many times by so many people I just didn’t see the necessity of it. In the end I decided to see it because I wanted to watch a Christmas movie and it was the only one available. I was delightfully entertained but still wish they’d collaborated on something else. Carrey is fantastic and the visuals are sublime. And as for motion-capture animation this is one of the best.  But it reminds me of my high school years when the theater teacher picked some lamn play or musical to perform that year and you just had to accept it if you wanted to participate.  It’s worth checking out for the holidays but only if you’ve already seen George C. Scott’s verision of Scrooge (which is still the best adaptation). Grade: B+

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Sadly, nobody saw this film when it came out. It did so poorly that it financially hurt Dreamworks Animation Studios enough to cause layoffs and to lower the company’s stock price. Yet it’s a really fun film and any flaws it has are minute. It creates a world where the world’s children are protected by four supernatural heroes: Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and The Sandman. And the villain they must protect children from is the sinister Pitch Black aka Boogey Man. Step in our hero, Jack Frost, who will join the Guardians to put an end to Pitch Black’s most recent and daring plan of spreading nightmares to all the world’s youth. What makes this film really special is the design elements used to create the Guardians; they look really cool. The Easter Bunny is not some fluffy cute creature, he’s a boomerang welding warrior. Santa Claus isn’t your typical jolly fat guy, he’s a giant Viking general ready to kick some ass. The Tooth Fairy is a hummingbird queen and The Sandman is a magical spinning top. I loved what director Peter Ramsey and team did with this film and have to check out the books by William Joyce which was this film’s source of inspiration. Grade: A-

Mon Oncle Antoine (1971)

I think this could be considered the Canadian’s version of A Christmas Story but instead of being funny it’s a big bummer. I liked it but it wasn’t the kind of Christmas film I wanted to see. 15 year old, Benoit works at a general store in a mining town in Québec . He’s coming of age learning about love and death. I know this film is revered as a classic of Canadian film and it is well-made but since I’m not aware of that region’s history and the Asbestos Strike, I was kind of bored. Grade: B

Spring Breakers (2013)

Now this is more like it. James Franco, this is the kind of role you should be doing more of, not the Oz crap which I watched recently. Harmony Korine writes and directs a film about four young women who turn to armed robbery in order to get to Florida for Spring Break. This film is a debauchery mine field with drugs, violence, gun worship, and bikinis. I didn’t think I would like this film but I have to say any movie where James Franco (with a complete grill) sings Britney Spears’ "Everytime" at a piano while machine gun totting babes stand around is a success story. Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine all play against type, showing that even wearing practically nothing a girl can still kick ass. Yet let’s be clear, there’s some in-depth exploration too going on about our young culture. Why is it so many of today’s generation would go to Florida and completely let themselves go? Why is getting drunk and running about having sex with the first person you see, fun? I don’t understand it but something tells me Harmony Korine understands it and sees the gritty truth behind it. This film is not for everyone but I thought it was a strange and intoxicating slap to the face. Hit me again. Grade: A-

The Force Strikes Back (Commentary)

Two years from today Star Wars Episode 7 will be released. Do you hear that? That loud yippee heard from around the world? That was me. I wouldn’t call me a Super Star Wars fan but I’m certainly a fan. The Star Wars films have captivated me my entire life (mostly in a good way) and to know more from this incredible universe will come to us via Disney makes the little kid in me cry with joy. That’s not to say I’m not nervous, I am. Below is a list of worries and hopes for what the talented J.J. Abrams will deliver to us.

Hope #1: A good story.

Story is king and I really hope that this next trilogy (or series of trilogies) continues the saga in a glorious way. Hopefully they just don't recycle the same formula.

Worry #1: Bad “modern” film techniques

I really hope J.J. Abram doesn’t give us tons of annoying light flares, or shaky camera motions like a Bourne Identity movie. Please, sir, keep with the flavor and visual scope of the old films. That’s kind of what makes Star Wars so incredible. And especially, please, I beg you, don’t use any slow-motion. That will completely take me out of the experience. **Note: this includes the music. Bring John Williams back or mimic his style. I love Hans Zimmer but I don’t want him anywhere near these films.

Hope #2: The Original Cast is Back

Luke, Leia and Han Solo are back. Let’s pray that they’re used properly instead of turning in cameos or give farewell performances that are insignificant to the moving plot.

Worry #2: Ignoring the Prequels

Let me make this clear, while the Prequels were not that good, they should not be ignored. I’m not saying Jar Jar Binks should pop up but Lucas Films can’t act like the events in those movies didn’t happen. That would ruin the continuity. Yes, I know some would love to pretend that none of that history happened but it did. Continuity is important.

Hope #3: Amazing Special Effects

For me Star Wars should be the Gold Standard of special effects and I hope J.J. Abrams continues that tradition. Certainly I hope they use a combination of practical and digital effects but in the end I want this film to win the best Oscar for Visual Effects. Let ILM return to their glory. If this looks like Transformers or other less than stellar work from them than I’ll be greatly disappointed.

Worry #3: No tributes please.

J.J. Abram has shown with his Star Trek films and even his Spielberg clone Super 8 that he loves to wink-wink like a fanboy and pay homage to the older films. Don't do this. It's distracting and just reminds us of the past instead of moving forward. There’s no reason to do it. It just makes you look like a douche.

Hope #4: Expanding the Universe even more

I’m so excited to see what new stories and characters we’re going to see. There really are so many areas of exploration the film makers can go. The spaceships can look different, the aliens more exotic and the technologies more fantastic. And if the additions have purpose that continue the story in a logical way, I’ll love it.

Worry #4: Hype

Here’s what I’m worried about: the entire world will be so excited for this movie that they’ll go see it with impossible expectations and will be disappointed. Look, all of us need to calm down and understand that this film doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. I just want a well-made entertaining film without any cheesy moments. It doesn’t have to be better than the originals. Sure, I think everyone expects a better film than Phantom Menace but I wouldn’t even mind if it’s just a bit better than Revenge of the Sith (which is actually a pretty decent film minus Vader’s “Nooo!”) Give me a B+ film with amazing special effects and a good story and I’ll be sighing with relief.

Hope #5: Bring the Magic back for Everyone

While the Prequels were enjoyed by the younger crowds, many adults hated them. Not everyone but pretty much everyone. Now with new blood I’m really hopeful that a new string of timeless classics for everyone, young and old, emerge to inspire and entertain, like the original three films did in the early days of blockbusters. At the same time, I hope they’re not too dark because

Worry #5: Overload

Disney plans to have a Star Wars film open every year. That's exciting but also hints at a concern I have about the future of Star Wars. I like that Star Wars is a rare cinematic event. I don't want it to become the norm. I’m really worried about Star Wars burnout. I can only hope that if Disney plans to assault us with so many films they’re able to keep them at the same high caliber. If they splinter the brand off into lesser genres and craft a lot of mediocre films I will be greatly annoy

Star Trek: The Next Generation (Season 6)

What a great season for Star Trek fans. This one gave us many memorable episodes well-worth watching more than once. Some of my favorites were Timescape (where Picard, Data, Geordi and Deanna find themselves out of time and must find a way to save the Enterprise from being destroyed), Lessons (where Picard falls in love with a scientist), Chain of Command (a two-parter where Picard is released as captain so he can perform a top secret mission), Tapestry, (where with Q’s help Picard looks back at his life choices before dying), and Face of the Enemy (where Deanna must pretend to be Romulan). To be honest what makes this such a successful season is that there are no real bad episodes. Knowing this is the second to last season of the series, I can sense they’re going to be one of those shows that goes out on top. Grade: A-

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

I was one of those that felt it unnecessary to turn a 300 page book into a trilogy. Maybe two films but three just felt like overkill. I’m changing my tune because I am loving these movies. I really enjoyed the first Hobbit and this second one is just as good if not a bit better. A lot of new characters and sub plots are being added to this epic story without it feeling bloated. I particularly love Tauriel’s story and her connection with Kili. Is it too long? Yes, just a tad but like the first film I’m not that annoyed by it. Of course I’m very nervous for the third film The Hobbit: There And Back Again. I really hope Jackson learns from his first trilogy and doesn’t give us a series of endings that makes the conclusion to this trilogy feel long-winded. As for this one, it’s sublime fantasy with wonderful composed action pieces and exciting visuals. And then there’s Smaug: the greatest dragon put to film, period. I can’t
wait until next year. Grade: A

Archangel (1990)

Just because a film has a unique visual style doesn’t mean it’s automatically going to turn out any good. This Guy Maddin experiment takes place during the Russian Revolution and deals with a love triangle between a two men who have amnesia. I love stylized cinema but not when it’s confusing with old fashion style acting. I completely see his ingenuity and respect this show for what it was crafting but I just didn’t really care for it. Grade: B- (Wait a minute, if I didn’t like it why don’t’ I give it a C? Because regardless of my reaction, it’s a cool looking film.)

No (2012)

Gael García Bernal stars in this political film about the Chilean plebiscite of 1988. The population was asked to vote Yes or No if Augusto Pinochet should remain President of the country. Bernal plays an advertising guru who is asked to use his talents and techniques in making a series of television spots to campaign on the No side. Not only is this an educational experience about a South American historical moment worth knowing about but it’s also a well-acted drama about a man mixing politics with business. My only issue with it is that its pacing is inconsistent making for an almost anti-climactic ending that feels it was supposed to be more exciting. But I can see why it was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language film, it is a fascinating story. Grade: B+

Trance (2013)

It’s always a bit disappointing when a director you trust makes something so average. Danny Boyle, why would you want to make this? You’re so much better than this trite. James McAvoy stars as an Auction House employee who gets mixed up in a painting’s robbery. Rosario Dawson plays his psychologist who uses hypnotism to attempt to unlock the parts of the crime he forgot so he can find the painting. Many uninspiring twists later, an exciting crime thriller turns into a messy revenge drama. It’s not really a bad film unless you consider average bad. Are we as film lovers worth more than average? Don’t we deserve to watch at least above average? In this case, I felt entertained just enough for it not to be a waste of my time. Yet it’s still a disappointment. Grade: B

March of Wooden Soldiers (1934)

I’ve been wanting to see this Laurel and Hardy “holiday” film for many years now but whenever I tried to check it out Netflix stated its status as Very Long Wait. Finally it arrived in the mail and I’ve had the pleasure of watching it. First observation: it’s not a holiday film. Why is it on my list of great classic holiday films? Because Santa Claus is in it for like ten minutes? This is a family film, also known as Babes in Toyland, that takes place in a land of fairy tales and Mother Goose characters. The main love story is between Tom Tom and Little Bo-Peep and the plot centers around saving the Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe from being evicted with all her children. Stannie and Ollie bumble around to help out as side characters and propel this film into a watchable classic because of their comedic chemistry. The set pieces and costumes are also highly entertaining, such as a monkey dressed up as a mouse (animal cruelty?) and the freaky looking in a cute way Three Little Pigs. I still don’t think this should be considered a holiday film and most contemporary audiences will scoff at such an innocent fable but I’m glad I saw it. Grade: B+

Frances Ha (2013)

I adore this charming throwback to French New Wave cinema from director Noah Baumbach. This is easily his best work to date and Greta Gerwig, who stars and co-wrote the screenplay, shines. Gerwig plays easily the most annoying yet lovable character I’ve seen in a film. Her character, so flawed and real, jumps off the screen. I want to be her friend and yet know I’d probably need a break from her from time to time. While its plot is minimal, it’s her relationships with her best friend Sophie and all her various roommates that pull you in and make you want to keep watching. Sometimes a simple black and white film can say more about life and all its struggles than anything else. Watch this film unless you need explosions and heavy-handed plotting to keep you interested. I celebrate this film and hope more discover it. Grade: A-

Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

Sam Raimi directs the prequel to The Wizard of Oz showing the origins of the trickster hero himself. This could have been so much better, showing how the wicked witch came to be and the start of her reign. It doesn’t help that James Franco is completely miscast. I like the actor but he can’t bolster this film. Yet he’s not the worst miscast, that would be Mila Kunis as Theodora . Mila is awful in this film. I don’t really blame her; she does her best but her make-up is pathetic and her acting is beyond her reach. I understand why they wanted her (and she is an Academy Award nominee) but she just can’t be scary evil. Most of the special effects are serviceable but there were a few bad moments such as when Oz and friends float away in bubbles (pretty bad). Overall it’s a mediocre fantasy film that will be forgotten in time, not the beginning of a new franchise that Walt Disney had hoped. Grade: C+

The Office (Season 9)

After nine seasons the American version of the famous UK show comes to a close and in a satisfying and emotionally rewarding way. Andy’s reign as the Boss continues to fail and Jim and Pam’s marriage gets a little rocky with Jim working a second career on a business he started with college friends. Then there’s Dwight Schrute (which in many ways is the final story line we want to see closure from) who deals with his family’s farm while also making his ultimate dreams come true. That’s not to say it’s a perfect season. When it comes to comedic moments it is lacking from other seasons and I wasn’t completely overjoyed by some of the wrap-ups. Still when it comes to final seasons this is one future sitcoms could learn from, as it is a clever and solid ending. Grade: A-

Spoiler Alert
To expand on the parts that I think weaken this season, my biggest complaint is with Ellie Kemper’s Erin. She quickly became one of my favorite characters and I was excited to see how they’d finish her storylines but instead they get her set up with the “new Jim” (unnecessary love story) and then have her reunite with her father and mother (which was good but way too late). I feel like her character really could have had an outstanding conclusion but instead it just fizzles. Then there’s a nitpicky thing with Dwight and Angela. Angela admits that her son is Dwight’s but never explains why the doctor from the first episode of the season told Dwight that the paternity test proved otherwise. While I did love seeing all the old characters come back for cameos, I felt Steve Carell’s final moment could have been a bit longer, at least have Holly there at the wedding too. And why wasn’t Michael at the big reunion at the last episode?  That was a glaringly missing piece. Was it about money or scheduling? For me that would have helped make this a perfect ending.  

Sons of Anarchy (Season 5)

You know you’re watching a good show when each season moves the story forward instead of repeating itself. Kurt Sutter is storyteller gold right now, spinning this down-and-dirty tale about the rise of a young biker prince who continues to fall into a pit of corruption even as he yearns to get away. Charlie Hunnam delves even darker into his character and Katey Sagal complicates everything by turning into a real bitch. I mean, I hated her by the end of this season and I’m hoping she is killed off next season. How is this possible? I used to like her character. Not anymore. Yet that’s why I know I’m watching a great show because I’m emotional tested and thinking of these characters like real people. I’m glad I get a break from this show though because I know it’s only going to get nastier. Grade: A

Los Cronocrímenes [Time Crimes] (2007)

I love time travel films and this mystery box of a story is an enjoyable example of the sub-genre. Hector lives with his beloved wife out in the Spanish country and he’s just trying to enjoy his afternoon while his wife goes shopping. Yet his curiosity is tweaked when he sees through binoculars a woman out in the woods take off her closes. He decides to investigate only to become a victim to a crazy masked killer. He is stabbed and is able to escape to a science complex. It’s here that he becomes trapped in a time loop and where the adventure and the film’s many fun twists begin. I think this is a great little movie well worth checking out. Grade: B+

24 Hour Party People (2002)

British director Michael Winterbottom is a fascinating artist. Even his choice of films is odd. He’s done drama, science fiction and comedy. But when he’s doing comedy he smartly teams up with Steve Coogan. This is a semi-fictional retelling of Tony Wilson, reporter and music promoter, and how he helped support Manchester's music scene from the late ‘70s all the way to the ‘90s. The improvisational nature of the film doesn’t always work but the overall feel is that you’re watching a badly edited documentary. I enjoyed it but mostly because of Coogan’s performance, not the music history. If you like this music then you’ll probably be even more entertained than I was. Grade: B+

The Imposter (2012)

I can’t really tell if I liked this film. It’s a documentary that tells the strange story of Frédéric Bourdin. A French con man who succeeds to convince a Texas family that he’s their missing son. In many ways it’s a riveting story but the interviews from the real people mixed in with the recreations kind of annoyed me. It seemed artificial and made me wonder why these people would participate in such a project. While the unbelievable details at the beginning are very entertaining at first the way the story unravels isn’t as interesting. Grade: B

Andrei Rublev (1966)

Andrei Tarkovsky, the masterful Russian director of other such boring films as Solaris and The Stalker, delivers us another slow-moving epic. To be fair though I do believe this one is actually pretty good. Yes, I strained to watch it without falling to sleep but this meditation on the life of a Russian painter from the 15th Century is beautifully captured in black and white and I thought the various chapters were memorable with stories that actually interested me. My favorite story dealt with the scenes about the making of the bell. Grade: B

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

I’m a big fan of Gary Ross and was bummed that he left this film series with Francis Lawrence attached to direct. I had yet been impressed with Mr. Lawrence, finding his biggest hit I am Legend a disappointing mess. How delighted I was to witness not only a better film than the first one (which I liked a lot) but one of the best book adaptations I’ve ever seen. I remember reading the book by Suzanne Collins and thinking it was almost un-filmable, that the action would have to be toned down some to make a plausible film. Wrong. This film matched my imagination almost to the exact detail. Katniss and Peeta survived the first Hunger Games and now they must parade about as celebrities, all to bolster the Capitol’s agenda. One problem: Katniss is a force of inspiration for a growing rebellion and that will force President Snow to change the rules. With an excellent cast of new characters and Jennifer Lawrence giving another memorable performance this series just became a contender for one of the best series made. Grade: A

Idiocracy (2006)

This might go down as Mike Judge’s masterpiece. A cautionary joke that seems to be coming true: we are getting dumber as a society. Luke Owen, a modern day Rip Van Winkle, wakes up to discover that he’s the smartest man in the world because everyone else is a moron. Smart and crude at the same time, this is the kind of comedy that will stand the test of time, unless we do get so stupid not to see the humor in it. Grade: A-

Miss Representation (2011)

This film is too important to be ignored. Yes, for those of us who are aware of the topic, it doesn’t highlight anything new, but for the rest of the world this film should be seen. Women are so badly misrepresented in our media today that it’s a shame. The problem isn’t about feminism or being politically incorrect. This is about half the population being degraded and labeled as secondary. Jennifer Siebel Newsom directs after she becomes a mother of a daughter. This is her call of arms and a hope that all our daughters grow up in a world where they are empowered not by their looks or sexiness but by their worth as human beings, their intelligence, their leadership skills and their ability to function without a predetermined label. Watch this film, even if you don’t have a daughter. I’m going to be a father to a son and I want him to see this film just as much. This is not a problem that only one gender faces; it’s a problem all of humanity needs to address. Grade: A

Twelve Chairs (1970)

I have wanted to watch this Mel Brooks comedy for some time. It’s an adaptation of authors Ilf and Petrov’s famous satire and the result is an amusing film lacking much of Brook’s comic magic. It’s basically a rat race kind of film about three men racing across Russia trying to locate one of 12 chairs that has some valuable jewels hidden in it. There are some funny moments but this isn’t nearly as great as his other classics like The Producers or Young Frankenstein. One of the reasons it didn’t do it for me was Dom DeLuise. Maybe in the sixties and seventies this guys was considered comedy gold but for me he’s just not that funny. His scenes were mostly annoying and made me wish for more Ron Moody. Not a disaster but certainly only for those curious. Grade: B

Upside Down (2013)

As a surrealist pseudoscience love story this high-concept film is a feat of imagination. Add any real science to this thing and it unravels like a badly made sweater. But for me, it’s still a warm sweater and I enjoyed it. Basically it’s a haves and a have-nots story where the haves live Up Above with their gravity going up and the have-nots live Down Below with gravity going the opposite direction; it’s called Duel Gravity in the film. The film opens with the rules: if anyone from one world goes to the other, they keep their gravity and basically float upward back to their world. Meet Adam and Eden, played by Jim Sturgess and Kirsten Dunst, who meet on mountain peaks, he’s from Down Below and she’s from Up Above. They fall in love and Adam will do anything he can to find a way to see her again, even if it means finding a way to her world. It’s really kind of cool and fun to watch. I mean, director Juan Diego Solanas and his effects team succeed at creating a beautifully new world that’s a wonder to behold. The story has a few holes in it, especially with the main character’s inconsistent motivation or lack of motivation at the end. Yes, if you overanalyze this concept too many questions pop up but if you just go with it and accept it for what it is and that is a clever love story, it’s an enjoyable experience. Grade: B

Spoiler Talk
I wanted to elaborate on the film’s big problem. Basically Adam at the end gives up and it’s Eden and Bob who find a way for Adam to be with her. It’s never satisfying to see your hero give up and then have another character make the story a happy ending. It’s so passive and makes a possible strong hero weak and unlikeable. As soon as it gets hopeless, we needed to see Adam make the necessary discoveries to get to the end of this film. Instead it doesn’t even feel like the same person. If not for this flawed ending I think this film would be way better. 

Animal Farm (1954)

This British animated film from Halas and Batchelor adapts George Orwell’s famous political satire in a rich and rewarding vision. It’s a grown up film about farm animals who revolt against their tyrant farmer only to fall under an equally dominating ruler. First there’s the rebellion, then the promise of enlightenment and lastly corruption. As I watched this I couldn’t help but think of what’s happening in Egypt right now. I guess we really don’t learn from our past and even brilliantly drafted stories that warn us does little to wake us out of our same old patterns. This film is still relevant today. That said I can’t help but wonder if anyone would be interesting in re-adapting this novel with the technology we have now. Pixar has never done an adaptation before but this would be a good choice if they ever wanted to take a big risk. Grade: B+

Take This Waltz (2012)

Sarah Polley writes and directs this anti-love story (if you will) about a married woman played by Michelle Williams who becomes infatuated by a neighbor. Seth Rogan plays her husband and I don’t believe has ever been this sincere. At times exciting in a bad way, it’s mostly a heart breaking film that asks real questions about matrimony and what “real” love is about. I’ll be thinking about this film for a long time, especially how far (in a believable way) Michelle’s character takes her fling. Grade: A

Spoiler Alert
Many times Hollywood romanticizes affairs and makes them “beautiful”. That’s one of the aspects of this film I really respect. It fools you, thinking it’s doing what most affair movies do and that’s make you believe the two people having the affair are soul mates and that they need to be together. Yet here we see how truly devastating a mistake such a choice is. Yet what’s also inspiring is that while Michelle realizes she made a mistake at the end, she owns up to and decides to love herself and respect her own person more than a marriage can. Only then can she experience and enjoy what marriage is.

Sons of Anarchy (Season 4)

So begins a new phase in the story of Jax Teller aka new Michael Corleone of the biker world. In this Season the tension only heightens as dark secrets are finally revealed and betrayals shake SAMCRO to the bone. I really enjoyed this season and can’t wait to see how the next one unfolds. Kurt Sutter is crafting a wonderful drama and just keeps on getting better. Grade: A 

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

The first Thor film was a huge surprise. While I wished the love story had been better developed Marvel and director Kenneth Branagh delivered a great set-up to one of comics most beloved heroes. Gone is Branagh with Alan Taylor taking over the directing duties. This is an excellent sequel with better more threatening villains and a love story that finally feels genuine. The special effects are top-notch. They really take you to this new world. Then there’s Tom Hidddleston’s Loki who pretty much owns this film. Chris Hemsworth is good too but he’s really a one-note kind of guy. I can’t wait to see where Marvel plans to take this franchise. Grade: B+

The Prince and the Showgirl (1957)

Laurence Olivier directs and stars opposite the brilliant Marilyn Monroe in this adaptation of the play The Sleeping Prince (awful title by the way). If you’ve seen the 2011 film My Week with Marilyn then you might be familiar with this bland completely miss-matched romantic comedy. Marilyn might have been having problems while making this film but you can’t tell; her comic sensibilities are on target. Mr. Olivier on the other hand proves comedic acting isn’t for everyone, even amazingly talented Shakespearian actors. The two of them just don’t work together. Marilyn’s character saves this from being a waste of time. Her portrayal of a showgirl who flips the tables on a Prince expecting a one-night of passion and instead seducing the Prince is enjoyable to watch, but only when the Prince isn’t around.
Grade: B-

About Time (2013)

This might end up being my favorite film of the year. Always the hopeless romantic and dreamer of the fantastic, I loved this film about a young man who learns that all the men in his family have the ability to travel through time. Instead of using it to read books like his father did or to gain wealth like most people would, he decides to find love. But it’s not just a story about a man falling in love. It many ways it’s about a man falling in love with life itself and I haven’t left a theater filled up with such joy in a long time. Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams and Bill Nighy star in a film written and directed Richard Curtis. Why this film isn’t more talked about I will never understand. Maybe some movies were made for just a certain group of people. I’m so happy that I’m one of those this film seems to have been made for. Grade: A

Searching for Sugar Man (2012)

Some true stories are so unbelievable and amazing that it shocks me not everyone knows about it. Thankfully the Academy rewarded this documentary with the Best Feature Documentary Oscar so others see it. It tells the crazy story of a musical explosion that happened down in South Africa surrounding the mysterious American musician Sixto Diaz Rodriguez. Years later two fans of the artist attempt to find out how Rodriquez died. I don’t want to say anymore. Just watch this film. It’s a real inspiring story that proves dreams can come true and sometimes in the most odd way. Malik Bendjelloul directs, pretty awesome for a first timer. Grade: A

The Prisoner on 2nd Avenue (1975)

Neil Simon’s play turned film starring the Jack Lemmon and Ann Bancroft. I’m a huge Neil Simon fan and love the work of both these actors. I was not disappointed. Jack plays Mel, a man who loses his job and goes through a mid-life crisis, shouting at his neighbors and hating the entire city. Meanwhile his wife, Edna, goes back to work and this change only drives Mel even more crazy. A bit dated, certainly, it’s still a wonderful adaptation of Simon’s terrific black comedy. Grade: B+

Oblivion (2013)

There’s a lot of hate for this Tom Cruise Science fiction thriller and I’m not sure why. It’s not a masterpiece but I was really entertained by it. Tom Cruise plays a repair man combination security guard who lives on a deserted, war-torn Earth in the future. He lives with his girlfriend played by Andrea Riseborough and it’s their one year mission to maintain various energy stations and keep them safe from leftover rogue aliens that caused Earth’s destruction. When they’re done with their mission, they will return to Saturn’s moon Titan where the rest of humanity lives out their days. Directed and written by Joseph Kosinski (of Tron: Legacy) it’s a fun dystopian adventure with many twists. Although I saw some of the twists coming as the story unfolded, I still enjoyed the overall package. As stated it’s not an instant classic, for there are some logic issues dealing with the aliens motivations, but I liked the premise enough to go with it. Andrea Riseborough, for me, stole the show; I really liked her performance. Olga Kurylenko is a bit young for the eternal young Tom Cruise but she executes her role fine enough. Morgan Freeman also stars and does his typical decent side character. Again no wow factor going on here but it’s still an enjoyable exercise of science fiction escapism. Grade: A-

Spoiler Alert
As mentioned above, the one issue I had with the film is that it’s not clear why the Alien invader needed to create clones that thought they were humans. If they could program a bunch of clones to be soldiers for them why not just program to maintain the power stations. I guess the human spirit eventually breaks free and that’s the point of Tom Cruise’s character’s journey. This might sound crazy to most people and I know it would never happen but I’d love to see a sequel. What you say? How could you make a sequel? After the alien space craft is destroyed the Earth is covered by all these clones who just realized that they’ve been deceived all this time. I’d love to see the point of view of a bunch of Tom Cruise characters trying to survive in this new world. Would they be outcasts? How would all the humans treat these clones? Would any of these clones be bad? There are so many possibilities.

Tampopo (1985)

I’m on a roll, another great film. This is a comedy about a truck driver and other ramen connoisseurs who collaborate to help a widow running a noodle shop make her place the best in town. This is what you’d call a real crowd pleaser, an entertaining tale that stirs your stomach as well as your mind. It’s just a fun film well-worth watching. I’m not a ramen foodie but I would become one if I could go to Tampopo’s noodle shop. Grade: A

Upstream Color (2013)

I absolutely am in awe of this film. Shane Carruth is my new hero. I don’t even know where to begin because I want so badly to write a blog worthy of such an original bizarre drama. Let me clarify right from the beginning, this is not a film for everyone. Many people will look at this beautifully eerie film about a woman and a man finding each other after being victims to a spiritual thief who uses a strange parasite to make them do whatever he commands them to do as being too odd. And it is odd but in such a poetic good way. I truly believe you could find a multitude of themes and inspiring ideas in this work of art. It’s open to so many theories. Amy Seimetz co-stars with Carruth and their chemistry on screen is vibrant. I rooted for these people to recover their lives and in the end realized that they ended up richer human beings for going through what they did. It’s part mystery, part science fiction fable, part love story and part metaphysical poem. After seeing Primer, Carruth’s first film, I figured a new talent had emerged but I would have never guessed he’d go completely against the grain and produce a work of art this special. Grade: A

Everything Must Go (2010)

Will Farrell can act. Really, he can. This isn’t the first time he proved this fact but if there was any doubt let this wonderful dramedy about a man who sells everything he owns to restart his life reaffirm it. Of course at first it’s not that Will’s character Nick wants to sell his stuff, it’s just that he doesn’t know what to do except sit on his lawn (to the house his soon-to-be ex-wife locked) and drink beers. But soon he befriends a teenager and his neighbor across the street played by Rebecca Hall. Dan rush the director and writer based the film the short story by Raymond Carver called, “Why Don’t You Dance?” Looks like I’m going to have to find my copy of the collection What We Talk About When We Talk About Love? and read it again to see how much he made up and how much he actually used. Grade: A-

Jedi Junkies (2010)

I don’t know if I should admit this but while watching this documentary about Super Star Wars fans, the kind of nerds that collect everything and obsess on every detail of the films to the point of absurdity, I was envious. I too am a fan of the Star Wars and if I had had my way as a kid I would have become a master collector as well. I remember dreaming of having a warehouse where I could build massive dioramas recreating my favorite scenes. As a teenager I would have jumped at the chance to learn out to fight with a Lightsaber. (Let’s just say the famous Star Wars Kid and I could have been good friends.) Even today I would love to devote that much time to Star Wars. But I didn’t take that fork in the road. I conformed to society’s norms and found a multitude of other passions to take up my energies. Some might find some of people in this documentary geeky or pathetic but for me they’re heroes. They never gave up and kept the Force strong. Thank god we have people like that in our world. Grade: B+

Gravity (2013)

There is little doubt this survival in space drama, this mostly one-woman show starring Sandra Bullock, will be nominated for Best Picture. Director Alfonso Cuaron merges reality and special effect in such a brilliant way I almost was convinced he took his cast out into outer space to make this film. Every sequence delivers a highly emotional roller coaster ride and Bullock gives her best performance in her career. She commits all the way to an actual complex character, making me forget that this is the same woman we’ve seen in dozens of films. George Clooney is also good in this one, even if his minor role could have been played by anyone. At 90 minutes long Cuaron knows when to take us in and when to end the story at just the right moment. I left the theater inspired and still dazzled. Grade: A

Spoiler Alert
Even a great film like this has to have a flaw or plot hole, if you want to call it that. It bothered me for a second while watching the film and then I let it go. Later while thinking about the scene some more it bothered me again. But in the end it’s such a nitpicky thing it’s not really significant enough to lower my rating. It appears Ryan (Sandra) and Stone (George) are about to tumbling past the space station and miss their one chance for survival. Ryan gets snagged into a parachute but is able to grab Stone before he flies past. But Stone tells her to let go and that she needs to save herself because if she tries to save him he’ll only kill the both of them. Yet the problem is that in space they’re weight less. It would be very easy for Ryan to yank his arm and float him back toward the space station. Also as soon as she grabbed him he’d stop moving forward because he would be traveling at the same force as the space station and Ryan. Two professionals trained for space walking would know this and so should the film makers. I’m assuming it all comes to drama, that the story dictated that Ryan needed to make a choice and if Cuaron had bound himself to science he felt he’d hurt the story. I think they could have found a way to work around this but I can live with what happens in the movie as is.

Fringe (Season 5)

Events prefaced in last season’s 19th episode ”Letters to Transit” continues on this the last season of the Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci’s created sci-fi detective show centered around concepts on the edges of science. Here we jump forward to the future where the Observers are no longer passive record takers but dictators who’ve taken our world prisoner. Released from amber, the Fringe team must work with Peter and Olivia’s adult daughter to save the world from these unbound-by-time beings. First let me get this out of the way: wow and thank you for taking the show into a new direction that really is exciting and refreshing. Just when the show was starting to feel formulaic they do a 180 and turn our heroes into the terrorists/rebels fighting the system. I really loved this season and feel like it was the best way to end the series. It’s unpredictable, emotional and completely original. My one complaint is that it felt Olivia’s character (who started out the main character) kind of takes back seat. That said the father and son story line between the Bishops is top-notch and I am in love with Georgina Haig who played Etta Bishop. The last episode was a tad too rushed for me (it deserved a two-hour closing) but ultimately it was still very satisfying. Now that it’s over I realize I’m going to miss this show a lot. Grade: A

Top Ten Best Movie Monsters

To whittle this list down to a certain kind of horror movie monster I’m excluding those monsters based on people real or fictional (such as Hitler or Hannibal Lector) and general groups (like Zombies or Dinosaurs). The goal of this list is to move past just great villains and to zero in on horror monsters. My list, my rules.

10. Freddy Kruger – Nightmare On Elm Street Films
Sure he was a person but then he became the pyscho who invades your nightmares and kills you while you sleep. Robert Englund might have played this character tongue-n-cheek a lot I regardless think he’s a great horror invention.
9. Godzilla - Gojira
I almost didn’t put the ultimate big guy in there because he’s kind of a hero. Then I thought about it and realized anything that can destroy a city needs to be on the list. Seeing a giant lizard emerge from the sea is a terrifying sight. Let's have Godzilla be the stand in for other such giants as King Kong and the monster from Cloverfield.

8. Gwoemul- The Host
It’s a bus-sized bay creature that hunts people down and nests in a gutter. It’s inventive looking and completely horrific when you consider it's really just fish and frog mixed together.

7. Dren – Splice
Some might say the movie isn't that great but I still think Dren is the best Frankenstein-like monster so far put to film. It's really a gruesome and frightful concept. While I don't think films can really be good warnings for future tech maybe we should force all geneticists to view this beautiful yet dangerous she-monster

6. Pale Man – Pan’s Labyrinth

Guillermo del Toro’s frightful creation is a stand-out in an amazing movie. He’s the flesh-eating monster without eyes except for when he opens his palms and fans them out at you. Creepy, surreal and beautiful all mixed into one.

5. Graboids – Tremors
Some might be shocked that I put in these land-worms on this list, especially when you consider the film they’re in is more of a comedy than a scary film. Sorry, those Jaws like worms were designed with freakiest originality and make for great monsters of horror.

4. That Baby – Eraserhead
True, this absurd experimental film by David Lynch isn’t really classified as horror but it might as well be. That baby might not attack people and be as harmless as a planet but it still gives me the heebee jeebees. I swear it gave me nightmares and I can’t explain why. It’s just an eerie movie and that sick little thing needs to die before it does grow up and becomes something worse.

3. Pinhead – Hellraiser

He’s the captain of the Cenobites, monsters who guard the entrance to Hell. Brought to life with awesome commanding presence by Doug Bradley, he’s my favorite former human monsters. I really hope someday someone brings this character back and reboots this trapped-in-B-movie-hell franchise. If not at least we have a couple good films with him in it. Someday I will go to work on Halloween as this guy and scare my co-workers to death.

2. Aliens – Aliens
This list isn’t complete without H. R. Giger’s brilliant creatures in space inventions, constructed by the great Carlo Rambaldi. You know a creature design is brilliant when they’re still effective even in horrible movies (Aliens Vs. Predator). I still remember when I first experienced these guys and I must admit to being overwhelmed. It was a terrifying idea of a monster that uses humans to incubate its offspring.

1. The Thing – The Thing

The above choice would have been here except for the fact this alien from the great John Carpenter remake actually scared me. I remember seeing this mysterious “we don’t know who’s the monster and who’s human” concept unfold and when the mutated monster breaks loose from human (or dog) form, it is a horrible transformation. I truly jumped out of my seat and yelped when this monster appeared. You’ll never get me down there in Antarctica to work at some science station. Not ever after seeing this film.

 

Frankenweenie (2012)

Tim Burton reincarnates his own live-action short as a puppet-animated full-feature film. I adore this film and its quirky wit and feel-good vibe. Only Burton could concoct such a bizarre tale about a boy who brings his pet dog back to life Frankenstein-style. With many wonderful character creations and surprise twists to the plot, this is one to be enjoyed by the entire family all year long, not just on Halloween. I own it on Blu-Ray already, that’s how much I liked it. Grade: A

Profondo Rosso [Deep Red] (1975)

Dario Argento directs and co-writes a story about a musician played by David Hemmings and a psychic played by Macha Meril who try to solve a string of murders all committed by a psycho with a hatchet. Highlighted by a bunch of gruesome murder scenes and some clever investigation work by the two protagonists, this is one of Argento’s best films. I feel with this project all the pieces came together just right for Argento. It has that Argento feel obviously inspired by Hitchcock but you can sense an original voice emerging. It’s a bit dated for today’s audience but it’s still an entertaining film. Grade: A-

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005)

The third film in Cho Young-wuk’s revenge trilogy is a strikingly beautiful and poetic story of a woman sent to prison for a crime she did not commit and her quest for revenge on the real killer. Yet it’s also a story of how she reunites with her daughter who she assumed she’d never see again after the girl was adopted by an Australian couple. There are a lot of themes here about crime and punishment and forgiveness. Lee Young-ae gives a remarkable performance and Cho Young-wuk’s direction is excellent. While sometimes the story meanders some, it’s a clever take on the revenge story that I think is worth checking out. I love films that put the audiece right into the driver seat of a moral question: is killing the killer revenge or justice?  This ones does it better than most.  Grade: A-

The Caller (2011)

Rachelle LeFevre stars as a woman who moved into an apartment to escape her abusive husband. She suddenly gets a phone call from a woman claiming to be from the past. At first all is friendly until the woman on the phone turns out not to be just as messed up as the man she's trying to escape. Who knew Time manipulation could be so frightening? I loved this taunt thriller. It’s the kind of film you discover and want to share with all your friends. Is it perfect? No, but it’s still a great little movie. Grade: B+

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Movies like these make me wish I could go back in time and experience it with an audience of that time. I’m sure this William Castle production staring Vincent Price was a scream fest for teenagers back then, a good time at the movies to sit with your girlfriend and jump at dancing skeletons. Of course today it’s purely a historical document with little entertainment value. But that said it’s not all bad, it has some cheesy charm even if it is a complete rip-off of Shirley Jackson’s famous story The Haunting of Hill House (I mean the word Hill is in both titles; that’s about as obvious as it gets). The story is similar: a millionaire invites a bunch of guest to stay at a haunted house and says if they survive the night he’ll give them $10,000. There was a remake made in 1999 that I haven’t seen. Maybe I’ll check it out to see how they took such a story and updated it. Grade: B-

Fritt Vilt [Cold Prey] (2006)

This formalistic slasher film made by Norwegian filmmaker Roar Uthaug follows all the tropes of the genre. Yet has any slasher film of recent years been this well-made? A strong cast led by Ingrid Bolsø Berdal helps make this film really work. Plus the overall mystery about the killer has a satisfying back story that makes for a memorable ending. Slasher horror is generally my least favorite of the genre but when it’s done right, as it is here, it’s a thrilling experience. Grade: B+

The Bay (2012)

This is a pretty effective found-footage horror film. I didn’t expect to enjoy this as much as I did. The whole found-footage subgenre keeps on trucking with film makers pushing the bounds of the concept. Here we follow an outbreak of a deadly parasite growing in the water supply of a small bayside community. Surprisingly Barry Levinson directs and to me that’s a cause of celebration; I love to see older film makers experiment and push past their artistic norms. There is a message of course behind this film and that’s to be careful what we do to our environment. It’s a bit over the top and obvious but that didn’t bother me so much, probably because it’s a true message. The real reason this film succeeds for me is the parasite concept. It’s just a terrifying idea that some parasite might explode out of you just because you had a drink of water. Grade: A-

Excision (2012)

I wanted to like this film but in the end it’s just too erratic. AnnaLynne McCord stars as an eccentric teenager who dreams of being a doctor and healing her young sister someday from cystic fibrosis. She just a weird girl fascinated with blood and having sex with another girl’s boyfriend. Her mother played by Traci Lords gives a balanced performance and is the core motivator to all the madness. But as the film continues to unfold it loses its momentum and just fades. Even the ending, while a terrific idea, felt rushed for me. Ultimately what put me off on this film was the main character itself. She’s just not likeable. The audience needs to connect to a film’s main character even if they’re a monster. Grade: C  

The Stepfather (1986)

Before becoming a star on LOST, Terry O'Quinn starred in this crazy stepfather film about a psychopath needing a family in his life, until he feels unloved and he decides to find a new family. This is a tightly made low-budget film that will stand the test of time because of O’Quinn’s performance. Really everyone in it does a fine job. I know they made a remake but I’m just not interested in seeing it. For me this one nailed it and I don’t care if it’s a bit dated. It fits the time it was made and is just as enjoyable now. Grade: A-

Come and See (1985)

True horror like this is a must-see for anyone interested in history. The monsters are not mindless zombies or vampires or aliens with green blood. The monsters are us; people corrupted by the Nazis just as any of us can be brainwashed to follow some tyrannical force under the right circumstances. Here the viewer is taken into hell from the point of view of a young Russian boy just trying to survive. It’s amazing to me that a film this realistically brutal could get made. Did any extras actually die making this film? It’s so ultra-real I felt like maybe director Elem Klimov took his actor, Aleksei Kravchenko, through a time machine and filmed him guerilla style. There are so many powerful awful moments of violence one could almost criticize the film for going so far. But events like the ones shown in this film happened. Innocent people died in the name of fascism and racism and just plan evil. If I knew everyone would have the same reaction I had to this nightmare I would make everyone watch it. Sadly even a brilliant yet disturbing film like this can’t change us. We are capable of being monsters. Grade: A  

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Being a fan of animation means I’m pretty much entertained by most animated films, especially these days when it seems almost all the animated films being produced are excellent. Some of the humor in this monster mash father-daughter comedy is a bit crass; it’s still a funny and unexpected ride. Adam Sandler gives his voice to Dracula and I liked what he does here. So if you’re looking for a fun family film to watch this Halloween season I’d recommend this animated tale. Grade: A-

House at the End of the Street (2012)

Jennifer Lawrence stars as a teenage girl new to town who befriends her neighbor, a loner teenager whose parents were killed by his younger sister. I had low expectations for this one but I found myself thrilled as I learned more about Max Thieriot’s character. Certainly not a masterpiece, it’s still a fun and suspenseful entertainment. Solid acting talent and a decent script helps. Grade: B+

The Night Stalker (1987)

For some reason I found this supernatural detective thriller on a list of great horror films from the ‘80s. I wish I had never seen that list. What a piece of garbage. I don’t even really want to write about it. Charles Napier stars as a Dirty Harry type who tries to find a killer of prostitutes. Of course the killer has supernatural powers that make him almost impossible to kill. I’m sure this helped Napier’s career (for he’s the only part worthwhile) but I kind of hope the film master for this title gets destroyed in a fire so they’re never able to reproduce it again. No, it’s not the worst film I’ve ever seen but it was such a waste of time. Grade: C-

American Mary (2012)

I love Katharine Isabelle from the Ginger Snap films so was excited to see the kind of performance she’d give in a Soska sisters film. I’ve not seen any of the Soska sisters' work but I’m going to keep an eye out for more of what they have to offer. This is a delightful film that mixes body modification with revenge. Mary Mason is a med student studying to be a surgeon someday. To pay the bills she performs an illegal operation on a stripper to make her more like a doll. Business is looking up until one of her teachers rapes her. That’s when revenge comes into play but as with all revenge stories one must be careful. Grade: B+

Nightmare on Elm Street: Part 5 Dream Child (1989)

Freddy is back and this time he’s here to take Alice and Dan’s baby. Obviously if you like the first four films you’ll probably enjoy this one too. The story is very disjointed at the end but it still entertains as a cheesy horror film that’s more funny than scary. Grade: B

The Abandoned (2007)

The foreign horror market seems to be saturated with these kinds of artistic ghost stories that would never do well in the theaters but always make for great viewing on DVD. Nacho Cerda directs the story of an American woman who returns to Russia to find out what happened to her mother and father. She returns to the abandoned farm her parents lived on before as a baby her dying mother drove her and her brother to safety. While there she discovers her brother is there too, also interested in the mystery of their parents. What they didn’t expect was that their parents’ ghosts would be there waiting for them. Good stuff. A bit long-winded at times, it’s still a well-shot film with excellent visuals. Grade: B+

The Living Dead of the Manchester Morgue [AKA Let Sleeping Corpses Lie] (1974)

Out on the English countryside, zombies are rising. No, this is not Shaun of the Dead or 28 Days Later this is a Spanish/ Italian production about a man and woman mistakenly believed to be satanic murderers because the police inspector in charge doesn’t realize that a new scientific farming technology is causing the dead to rise and eat the living. Right from the start I could tell I was in for a treat. This is a classic zombie film much like Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead. It has its twists and turns and keeps moving at a fine pace unlike some other Italian Zombie movies. I was pleasantly surprised. Grade: B+

Horns by Joe Hill

The premise of Mr. Hill’s new novel is so inviting and clever I can’t believe no one else has come up with it. Wrongly accused murderer of his girlfriend (freed because of a technically) Ig Perrish wakes up after a night of drinking with horns protruding from his forehead. With these horns comes the power to make any who see them share their darkest desires and truths. With these devilish powers can Ig find out who killed his girlfriend or will he wallow in his own despair? I loved this book. I thought Mr. Hill’s first novel was excellent but I think this one is better. It has a lyrical quality switching points of view and giving the reader a complete world. This is one of those kinds of books I can see re-reading again a few years from now. Grade: A

The Collection (2011)

After I saw 2009’s The Collector I’ve wanted so badly for a sequel. And because horror films can be made cheaply, my wish has been granted. Does it meet my expectations? Mostly, although I would have liked it more if they hadn’t tried to mimic Aliens plot structure as much. Still I’m happy Josh Stewart is back and that we get to see the Collector’s playhouse of horrors. Marcus Dunstan directs and delivers new thrills but this time around the tension isn’t as focused and the villain a tad less interesting. I’d say if you liked the first film you’ll probably like this one too. Grade: B+

The Lost (2006)

Based on Jack Ketchum’s novel of the same name (of which I want to read now), Chris Sivertson writes and directs the story of Ray Pye, a teenage psychopath who terrorizes everyone he comes in contact with. He has a girlfriend he doesn’t really care about anymore and a new girl he loves so much that when she eventually rejects him all hell breaks loose. Marc Senter kills it as Ray in a performance so dead-on I think it might open up his career (or at least cause him to get type casted as a villain for now on). Nudity, violence and wonderful characters make for an enjoyable dark film. If you’re interesting in delving into an evil teenager in a film made with a clear cut vision than you’ll have to see this mini-masterpiece. Grade: A-

Mama (2013)

Here I go again another Guillermo del Toro sponsored film. This one is directed by Andres Muschietti from a script he co-wrote with Neil Cross and Barbara Muschietti. Jessica Chastain stars as a woman forced into the role of Stepmother for her husband’s two nieces who were found in a cabin in the woods after their dead father tried to run with them after killing their mother. Wow, writing that setup makes this film sound even more absurd than it actually is. Oh, I forgot to add the two girls were cared for by a motherly ghost who follows them to their new home; and she wants them back. In many ways I would have loved this film except for the fact that there’s an unnecessary subplot about the girls’ psychiatrist that takes away from the real focus of the film and that’s Chastain’s character. And for the worst flaw about this film, something which makes me groan when I ever see it, is the overuse of CGI. When you can use an actor, you should, or you’ll be taking the audience away from the believability of the scare. Why they didn’t do this, especially for such a powerful ending, I don’t understand. If not for Chastain and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau’s work I really don’t think this film would have been saved. In the end I liked it but it’s one of those productions that could have been so much better. Grade: B

Los ojos de Julia [Julia's Eyes] (2010)

Whenever I see “Guillermo del Toro Presents” attached to a project I check it out regardless of his actual involvement. The reason why is simple: Guillermo del Toro has great taste (at least in my opinion). Here Guillem Morales directs with a script he co-wrote with Oriol Paulo. The story centers on a woman played by Belen Reuda who is slowly going blind and yet is tormented by the death of her twin sister (also going blind). For her sister was killed and to prove her death wasn’t suicide she must find a killer who may or may not be supernatural. While a bit slow moving at times, this is a solid thriller with a really great ending, the kind of beautiful last moment that sends shivers down my spine. Grade: B+

Magic (1978)

Anthony Hopkins first showed the world how creepy he was capable of turning with this psychological ventriloquist horror film directed by Richard Attenborough and written by William Goldman. With talent like this how could a film fail? Anthony plays a shy magician who uses ventriloquism in his act to get noticed. It works but it also fractures his mind to the point it’s not clear who is the dummy and who is the man. What a great little movie with a wonderful love story and tragic turn. This is certainly a classic of the genre. Grade: A-

The Violent Kind (2010)

I’ve now been initiated to the Butcher Brothers and I have to say I’m sold. This might be one of the most weirdly entertaining B-horror films I’ve seen since From Dusk ‘Till Dawn. When it starts I thought I was watching Sons of Anarchy but it quickly turns into a vampire/possession plot that turns again into something completely out there. It’s a really well-done film for its budget and wild story. I love when films surprise you like this. It will be interesting to see if this film is still around a couple decades from now. I hope more people who love horror films checks this out. Grade: B+

Room 237 (2013)

This documentary compiles a bunch of wild theories about the making of The Shining. Obviously this is a perfect documentary to watch while celebrating horror and in a weird way (the music helps) it’s kind of freakish feeling. Yet I have to say I think all of these theories are completely manufactured by imaginative people looking for something they want to see. That said it’s fascinating to hear what these people come up with. For me what makes this documentary so compelling is that it demonstrates how easy it is to formulate a “believable” conspiracy by piecing together seemingly organized consequences. If a person can convince a group that Stanley Kubrick used the Shining as way to confess to the world he helped the CIA fake the Apollo Moon landing than convincing people that the US government planned and executed the 911 terror attack shouldn’t be that much more difficult. Of course if you look at the facts and read interviews from crew members none of these “supposed” hidden meanings were discussed while making the film. If anything this just shows how great the art direction was for this film (If only Kubrick spent as much time concentrating on the story.) Grade: B+

Evil Dead (2013)

Here’s an example of a film I was glad they decided to remake (or re-imagine as the filmmaker’s like to say). The original Sam Raimi film is a cult classic but I always preferred the comedic sequels than the kind of cheesy “serious” one. Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell produced but I’m not sure how much input they had in the production. Instead of a bunch of youths going to a cabin in the woods for fun they’re going for the purpose of helping the main character, Mia, fight a drug problem and working as a team to help her cope with her withdrawal symptoms. Along for the ride is Mia’s brother, David, who must save her when she becomes possessed not by drugs but by the demon in the woods. I really enjoyed this film and found the gallons of blood and violence to be just what today’s audiences would want. Grade: B+

Sinister (2012)

Ethan Hawke stars as a writer of true-story crime books who is working on a book about a family of four who hung themselves. To get close to his subject he moves his own family into the victims’ house (with his wife and two kids unaware of the house’s history). He then discovers a box of Super 8 film along with a projector in the attic. Each reel of film shows the camera operator killing an entire family, one of the reels showing the subjects of the book he’s writing getting hung on the tree outside. Events only get creeper when Ethan discovers a demon named Bughuul is visible in the camera footage hiding in the background. What probably most impressed me about this film was the sound design which evokes an eerie animalistic vibe that heightens the horror. In many ways I’d celebrate this one as a classic work of scary perfection but unfortunately director Scott Derrickson and writers Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill make a big mistake and over explain the monster and so take away the mystery element of the tale. Still I recommend it because regardless of its unnecessary ending it’s a ghoulish good time. Grade: B+

Spoiler Talk
They didn’t need to show us Bughuul so much at the end. And the weird gimmick with the children all appearing up on screen and Ashley joining them was completely unnecessary and left me more annoyed than in awe. Less is more and in this situation they had already done such a brilliant job following this rule they didn’t need to anything else. This film should have just ended with the Ashley killing her father and that’s it. Darn, it’s too bad I can’t erase that epilogue from my memory.

Tenebre (1982)

In my journey to watch all of Dario Argento’s work, I came across this film noir horror about an American horror novelist in Italy trying to assist an detective find a serial killer inspired by the novelist’s books. I really enjoyed this film. It has all the Hitchcockian gimmicks that Argento is known for using while still having a fascinating plot. Sure it’s dated as all of Argento’s work is, but in a way that makes it stand out as something unique and particular to an artist’s voice. Check this out if you like Italian horror films from the eighties and need something more grounded than gory zombie films. Grade: B+

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Having seen Alexandre Aja’s 2006 remake (which I enjoyed) I thought it was about time I saw the original directed by the legendary horror master Wes Craven. What I expected was a dated ‘70s low-budgeted horror film with bad acting and awkward pacing but what I got was a ‘70s low-budgeted horror film that still holds up with decent acting and terrific pacing. Mr. Craven learned a lot since his debut film five years earlier, and having a better budget probably helped too. It’s the story of a vacationing family getting trapped out in the desert and attacked by crazy cannibals. While not as disturbing as the remake it’s just as terrifying and builds to a very satisfying exciting ending. Grade: B+

The Loved Ones (2009)

We jump start my annual Month of Horror with this Australian goodie about a crazy teenager named Lola Stone and her even more insane father who kidnap a high school student named Brent so she can have her own personal prom in her kitchen, where the highpoint of the evening will be him getting tortured. I really enjoyed this mild torture porn thriller. The characters and the town felt well-developed and it’s always satisfying when you learn there’s more going on than you first suspected. That said I have one complaint and that’s the cliché of the cop running into a serial killer’s house with gun raised before calling for backup (So frustrating and lazy). That said I recommend it and I am happy it’s the film I started this pre-month-long-Halloween celebration. Grade: A-

Breaking Bad (Season 5.5/ also known as 6)

Let the debate begin. How great is this cautionary tale about a High school Chemist teacher turned Master Meth chief drug lord? Only time will tell but as great television finales go this one will make many top ten lists. I have rarely been this satisfied watching a show unfold from season to season. Here Walter White must finally confront his greatest truth while facing the inevitable collapse of his empire. Jesse Pinkman will suffer his own hell while attempting to destroy the very monster he went into business with and Hank Schrader will become the hero we always knew he could be. I bow my head in gratitude to Vince Gilligan and team for this gift of storytelling. Just when I thought it impossible for them to continue to conjure the kind of memorable scenes this show is famous for they do and brilliantly leave a gaping hole I desperately hope can be filled someday. Time for withdrawal for one of the best television programs ever produced.
A+

Spoiler Talk
Did Walter win at the end? Many might assume that he does and find some moral conflict within. But make no mistake, Walter White lost and lost big time. The scene where he looks across at his son returning home from school, now living in some low-income apartment, is all you need to show how much Walter destroyed everything. His son will forever hate him. His entire family will be forever marked as that family of the crazy Meth kingpin known as Heisenberg. Sure he was able to get a portion of his money to them; and yes, it will help some, but it’s more to stabilize their lives instead of supporting them as he had originally hoped. Then why is it so satisfying at the end when he collapses and dies, smiling at the very instruments that led him to his doom? Simple, it’s because Walter stopped lying to himself. He honestly admitted that all of it was for him, that he risked everything for some legacy only he in his delusional, prideful mind could see as something positive. But he couldn’t turn himself into the authorities because he needed to fix two wrongs that only he could fix and that was to take down Lydia and end the distribution route of his deadly blue Meth and then rid the world of the bastards who killed Hank, to simultaneously avenge his brother-in-law’s death and set himself free. And when he saves Jesse’s life, discovering he had been used as a slave, he releases not just a former false son but release all the hatred he had for someone who was trying to atone for all his wrongs and doing the right thing by punishing this mentor. What an excellent and complex group of characters.

The Switch (2012)

Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman star as best friends who unknowingly parent a child together when Bateman’s character replaces Aniston’s sperm donor’s “sample” with his own. Surprisingly, this romantic comedy is a winner, turning out way more entertaining than I had hoped. What makes it so enjoyable is because it’s not just a good love story but a wonderful drama about a father bonding with his son. This is an emotionally rewarding entertainment that I wish had been better marketed as a dramedy than a comedy for while it is funny it’s less comedic than the ads would make you expect. Only after watching this did I realize it was inspired by the Jeffrey Eugenides’ story The Baster, which I’m going to have to read because I love Eugenides. Grade: B+

In the Realm of Senses (1976)

This is the most erotic sex film I have ever seen. Nagisa Oshima develops a fictional inspiration on the Sada Abe affair, the true story of a woman who kills her lover by strangling him to heighten his sexual orgasm and then proceeds to castrate him after he dies. That’s right, this actually happened. Warning: if you are offended by nudity or any kind of sex in a film do not watch this. This is a very explicit film with pretty much the entire film a sex scene. I’m very open to what Oshima attempted to do and was impressed by the brave performances by his two principle actors, Tatsuya Fuji and Eiko Matsuda. Ultimately once the shock wears off the narrative kind of stretches out and it’s the character work that keeps the film from becoming a boring exercise in sex. Grade: B

Dexter (Season 7)

One of my favorite shows continues and it’s starting to feel like the story has run its course. Dexter Morgan aka The Bay Harbor Butcher and his sister Debra deal with the aftermath of last season and Dexter becomes romantically involved with another serial killer named Hannah McKay, played by the beautiful Yvonne Strahovski. Knowing that this is the second to last season I get the feeling that this stretch of story is all set up for what I hope turns out to be a stellar ending. This show deserves a great ending and I don’t believe the writers will fail me. The plot line though that is the heart and soul of this season deals with a closeted Ukrainian Mob Boss played by Ray Stevenson who wants to kill Dexter for the murder of his lover. Yet where the suspense really starts to heat up is when LaGuerta begins an investigation into Dexter, one that will forever change the show. Grade: A-

Project A (1983)

Martial Arts Master Jackie Chan stars, writes and directs a goofy Kung Fu comedy about policemen investigating a criminal enterprise between a corrupt Hong Kong leader and sea pirates. This is a very enjoyable action film with fight stunts so entertaining you’ll forget there is an actual plot to all the madness. Grade: B+

Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)

The first film of this new horror franchise was a complete surprise, a spooky twist on the haunted house (or possession) story that really packs a scary punch.   If the first film was inspired but films like Poltergeist, here it seems James Wan and Leigh Whannell were inspired by The Shinning.   Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne return but it’s Patrick who must deal with his past (demon) while Rose investigates more into the history of Parker Crane.   I found this to be a very clever sequel.   It’s not as scary perhaps but that’s more to do with the problem that we, the audience, understand how the spirit world works this time around and so the mystery aspect of the story is taken away.   Yet it’s a very satisfying continuation.  Grade: B+

Richard III (1955)

Laurence Olivier returns to Shakespeare to play the Bard’s greatest anti-hero.   While I didn’t enjoy this one as much as his adaptation of Henry V it’s still a grand work of ‘50s cinema.  Olivier plays to the camera and while I didn’t really love the way he played Richard I do think it is an effective choice.  For me the wig was a distraction.   Ultimately I’m holding out that someone comes along and gives us a great version of this play.  The 1995 film starring Ian McKellen is probably the best right now (with Looking for Richard starring Al Pacino another wonderful mediation on the play) I’m hoping we can someday experience this story with most of the text intact.  Grade:  B+

2 ou 3 Choses Que Je Sais D'Elle [2 or 3 Things I Know About Her] (1967)

I’m usually a fan of Jean-Luc Godard’s work but this film is pretty tedious and kind of a mess.  There are some great moments such as the twist of seeing the house wife go to work as a prostitute, dropping her child off at some kind of weird daycare slum but as avant-garde films go this one feels like it’s trying too hard to make a throng of statements, both politically and socially.   Instead of focusing on a single idea to make a powerful message which resonates with the viewer, Godard decides to throw everything at you.   This is not the film I’d have a Godard virgin watch and have a hard time recommending it.   It’s an experimental film that is frozen in the sixties instead of being ahead of its time.  Grade: C-

Heaven Can Wait (1943)

Usually with this kind of film you’d have the hero standing before Heaven’s gate trying to convince the Head Angel why he deserves to get inside, but not with this wonderful and clever fantasy from Ernst Lubitsch.  Here our hero, Henry stands before Hell’s entrance trying to get in because he believes he doesn’t deserve Heaven.   Don Ameche stars along with Gene Tierney in a film that covers the life of a man and the woman he loved.   Not surprisingly I really enjoyed this film and thought it was very moving.   I’d actually love to see this film remade because it’s a very promising concept.   Just please, if someone does, don’t make it a cheesy Adam Sandler like comedy.  It’s too good a story to be given a crass and overly slapstick treatment.  Grade: B+

Note:  My film favorite titled Heaven Can Wait (1978) was a remake of Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941) not this film.  I was confused when I first saw Here Comes Mr. Jordan because I had assumed this was the original to the Warren Beatty film.   To be honest I’d have called this film Deny Me Heaven or something like that.  Heaven Can Wait doesn’t really work for this film’s plot, if you think about it.

Taking Chance (2009)

This is an impressive look at the attention to detail and the honor we give our fallen soldiers as well as an intimate account of one man’s emotional journey to copy with his own feeling of inadequacy as a Marine.   Kevin Bacon gives an Oscar worthy performance (although because it was made for HBO it didn’t qualify) and I can imagine he’s really proud of his work in this film.   The story is a true one, about Marine Lt. Colonel Michael Strobl who escorts the body of Private First Class Chance Phelps back home to his family for burial.   What I embrace about this tribute more than anything is that it remains respectful to the memory of Phelps and the military while refusing to take sides.  This is not a pro-Iraq War film or an attack on our government’s actions across this globe.   It’s an artful document on this country’s long tradition and dedication to honor those who gave their life for this country. Grade: A

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

I really did think this film was going to turn out just fine even with all the rumors of its spiraling budget.  I mean, you have Brian Singer directing (who before his failed Superman movie had done no wrong), Ewan McGregor and Bill Nighy starring and a promising concept of redoing the Jack and the Beanstalk fable.  What went wrong?  I wouldn’t call this a bad movie in the sense that I was amused by parts of it but it is a very flawed film.  The worst part of it is the special effects.  The giants are so generic and boring looking.  I just don’t understand why they had to make them so dopey looking.   The bean stalk looked okay but at times I felt it could have been better.   The bean stalk world from Puss N’ Boots was better looking and more interesting than the cave man like version we have here.   What kept me entertained was the love story between Jack and Isabelle but still this was a predictable storyline that could have used a few more twists.   Maybe in another decade someone will actually give us a Jack and the Bean stalk film we deserve, one where the giants don’t look like cartoon cave people.  Grade: B-

Under the Dome by Stephen King (Novel)

Mr. King is so good at writing these kinds of small town thrillers such as Needful Things and Tommyknockers where a town suffers a mysterious event.   Here the town, Chester’s Mill, is suddenly sealed off from the rest of the world by a transparent force field.  It’s like the Simpsons Movie but with an insane killing teenager whose father is the town’s dictator.   The hero, Dale Barbara, is the dinner’s cook who was on his way out of town before getting trapped.  Ex-military and all-round good guy, will Dale be able to unite a town and save it?   What is causing the force field and can it be penetrated?    What a good yarn with the kind of characters you just have to keep reading.  The villains in particular are so fun to read.   It’s just the kind of book to read on a lazy afternoon.  Grade: B+

Paint Your Wagon (1969)

When I ever heard about this film I snickered, thinking it was a joke.  Clint Eastwood in a musical?  But I kept seeing it recommended on a few lists and decided I should give it a chance.  Some bad movies are a hoot.  Surprise!  This movie is great.  It’s the musical western about two prospectors sharing the same woman.   The western town of No Name City is a massive spectacle full of great quirky characters and enjoyable music.  I’m a musical guy so if you don’t like people singing in your movies for no reason then skip this one but if you like musicals then check it out.  It’s a fun movie that turns out made a lot of money when it came out (who knew).   I’m still scratching my head trying to figure out how I came to think of this movie as a failed musical because it certainly is not.  Grade: B+

Medium (Season 6)

The adventures of Allison DuBois continue and I’m so glad.  I love this show.  It’s like a comfortable sweater that you like to wear on cold mornings.  It’s used and has a few holes in it but it’s just so nice.  I love the DuBois family, seeing the kids get older and a husband and wife duo that I just love seeing.   Yes, by now most of the episodes are predictable (the formula is well used) but I don’t care.  I love seeing Allison solve each mystery and when the writers come up with a clever story line (like the B&W Night of the Living Dead episode Bite Me) the result is magic.  Grade: B+

Woodstock (1970)

I must admit I was not looking forward to this 225 minute documentary celebrating the Great Hippie concert of the ‘60s.   I should have known better.  Anything edited by the great Thelma Schoonmaker had to be skillfully pieced together and the result is a brilliant documentary that shed some light on a festival that in many ways was a complete failure.   If it weren’t for the amazing performances captured on film and the fact no one died, history would have written a different story about this disaster.  And I mean disaster literally because it was designated a “Disaster Area” while it was going on.  It was truly an once-in-a-lifetime event that celebrated free-spirits willing to endure anything for music, drugs and escape from an encroaching fast-paced world of rules and expectations.   Then there’s the music that isn’t always fantastic but when it is, it really is a blessing to be able to watch.   To think the camera can only capture a hint of the true magic that was going on.   When I was done I was so happy to be able to watch this experience in the comfort of my couch.   Could I have endured such a muddy, cold and wild spectacle?  No, and I doubt most in my generation could.  To be honest I wouldn’t have wanted to be there if I could.  Once you arrived you’re pretty much trapped.  Which is like the film, once you start you can’t stop watching, it’s a captivating experience that doesn’t feel that long at all.   Grade: A-

Lola (1981)

The final film of the BRD trilogy (although it was released second) is centered around a singer/ prostitute and a building commissioner set on getting rid of corruption by running a by-the-numbers organization.   Of course in the era after WWII Germany was built on corruption, survived by it perhaps and the tables will turn when the two fall into a love affair.  Barbara Sukowa plays the title role and her performance is a knock-out.   Of the three films of this trilogy this is probably my least favorite but I still enjoyed it.   The ending has a great twist and will keep you wondering about the motivations of all involved.   It’s sad that Fassbinder ended up dying at such a young age, I really think he was finally onto something universal, finding his stride while at the same time producing work just as creative.   It’s amazing all the work he was able to create in such a short time but it’s fun to imagine what kind of work he would have produced twenty years further.   Imagine what kind of renaissance he would have had in the ‘90s when independent film productions were king.   Grade: B+

The Sorrow and The Pity (1971)

If you like super long documentaries then here’s another one by Marcel Ophuls (who directed the Hotel Terminus).   This one is about the various French and Nazi associations during the German occupation of France.   It’s certainly an important testament of history and many scholars will eat it up.  I can’t say I loved it or hated it.  It’s mostly a series of interviews so this kind of talking-heads style of documentary might not be as inviting as many documentaries made today.   My rule of thumb with this is if the subject interested you than you should probably see it, especially to see how accommodating the Vichy Government was right from the get go.  Grade: B