Awhile ago I was with some fellow horror movie fans and I had to admit I had never seen any of the Jason movies. I decided that I would watch the entire franchise from the original all the way in order to the last entry which is the remake. I wish had never started and only morbid curiosity keeps me going. This must be the worst franchise to every curse an audience with its horrific badness. I can't really decide which is the worse of the batch but this eightieth film is certainly in the running. Jason comes back to life, again, to murder and stomp and magically transport himself from one location to another like the wizard monster he is. The heroine in this one is a girl with the most unsupportive uncle on the planet who must overcome her fear of drowning. Yawn. Oh, and there's a dog too. What struck me really funny was how it's called Jason Takes Manhattan when he's only in the city for about 20 minutes. They should have just called it Jason on a boat. What annoys me the most while watching these films is that they're not only not scary but they lack any real suspense. A good slasher film should at least make you uneasy. But because none of the characters in these films are likable you just can't wait to see them die. Which is part of what makes most horror fans like these movies. I guess; as a running joke: here the girls get naked, here just when they're about to have sex they are killed, here instead of running away they cower, on and on until the hero finally kills Jason, only for him to rise again in the next film. The only possible way a slasher film can save itself from a repetitive narrative is to at least have some clever, humorous death scenes of which this film has none. The producers couldn't even get that right. Yet if they wished to succeed at making the worst ending ever, they did accomplish that. It's so out there you almost have to see it to believe it. Never mind, just believe me and stay away from these movies. Grade: C-
Why not the dreaded F? Simple: the Uncle character had me laughing quite a lot. Especially when his niece is driving away from Jason and he tells her to slow down and criticizes her driving. I certainly hope these jokes were intended.
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